Wisdom is getting it done earlier in life

What does this cat have to do with anything? Read and you shall discover. Sooooo...as a man in his early 30s I feel compelled to share with you (and kids of all ages) to get your wisdom teeth taken out early. I mean like right now, stop what you're doing or reading and get it done right now. Go naked, I don't care. Just get it done. DO IT NOW! Much like male circumcision, the earlier in life you get it done...the better. I am no doctor, nor do I play one on TV, however, allow me to explain. It hurts. Ok that just about wraps it up. Need any more incentive? I just had the pleasure (in concert with some associated dental surgery) with having two of my four wisdom teeth removed. I know, but worry not, the other two will be removed in a few weeks. I'll webcast it. Wanna know the fun/funner/funnest part? No, its not the fact that oral surgery and oral sex have very little do to with one another, other than the orafice most likely associated with the action verb used. It is.....drum roll....Dry socket. Yes indeedy. Like the agony of dental pain isn't enough to take a dump in your Cheerios, dry socket sneaks up like the annoying mother-in-law in a marriage you wish you never had. Other then some tarot cards, a ouji board, and some native-American dance ritual involving drum beating and old men yelling "yu-waa-ah-ay-hayyyy-yah", there is really no way to stop it. You honestly have a 50/50 chance of getting dry socket, regardless of what the damn ouji board says. Well, that is, unless your name is Journey.

Ok, well while you are watching the Steelers pummela-pummela-pummela the Cardinal Sins this Sunday for the Super Bowl. Think how enjoyable the event would be without eating chips, maybe some great-tasting barbecue, and of course sucking down a few cold ones. Yeah, Suckville, population me and Mr. Dry Socket. Thanks a lot. I hate you Mr. Dry Socket, more than tequila. I hate you so much that I would ponder adopting a flood rescue cat from the pound, naming it Mr. Dry Socket, and kicking it all day. Yes, revenge WILL BE MINE!